Considering Jacob and his new name

Jacob.

Israel.

We picture the grey haired man entering Egypt from Gosham with 11 sons behind him, rushing to embrace his long lost Joseph. A father betrayed and reunited with his son through God’s provision.

But…

Jacob, Bible hero, was actually not a great guy. Father of a nation? Yes, but a sinner, liar, and disappointment to his wives and kids at times.

Grasping after his brother’s fame even at birth, his father Isaac named him Jacob which means Deceiver. Imagine everyday of your childhood you are called Liar, but it was his name to own.

Stole his brothers birthright through manipulation (Genesis 25:31)
Lied to his dad (27:19)
Ran away from confrontation (27:43)
Loved the wrong sister (29:30)
Favored one woman over another (29:32)
Slept with too many of them–“But my wives told me to!!” Whatever, Jacob, we know no one twisted your arm (30:3)
Didn’t lead when his women fought (30:16)
Favored one son out of 11 (37:3)
Sent a boy to do his work (30:13)
Didn’t punish his sons violence (34:30)
Didn’t pursue his daughters rapist (34:5)
Wept for the lost son and ignored the rest (37:35)

But the day came that Jacob had to go back to the beginning. He had to find the giant red-headed brother who first let him own that name Deceiver (32:1).

And Jacob was scared.

He’d have to admit his failures and his let go of pride.

Smooth skinned Jacob, handsome Jacob, would have to meet up with Esau and possibly get his face smashed in. So, Jacob, ever noble (ha!), sent bribes ahead of him, livestock as gift to soften his brother. What a putz.

If God chose a weak, lying, prideful man to be the father of a nation, what would he chose for one American family?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying women are better. Later we can discuss Rachel and Leah. Two sisters fight over one man’s mandrakes. Gross. But do you expect too much from your husband? Didn’t we all marry more of a Jacob than a Jesus?

But there was a night, a night when Jacob was changed. He met God and God marked him.
Jacob felt the strain and agony of impending humility. Meeting up with Esau could be bad. Esau could not be deceived anymore. Jacob couldn’t pretend to be a good guy with him. Family knows your deepest darkest sins. And Jacob was scared.

So he went alone to the other side of the water and met with “an angel” alone. He fought him and wrestled with him for power, control, and rights. But he had none. He fought to exhaustion.

Who are you? He asked. But he knew.

Bless me, he said. Because only One fights that hard.

Who are you? Said the “angel”.

Jacob.

No. You aren’t. You are no deceiver.

Israel. Contender. Overcomer.

God took the stain of sin and the label of liar away.

Jacob no longer.

Contender forever.

Limp away, man. Carry that torn tendon your whole life. Remember that you fought Me. Your pride lost. Your humility won you Esau’s favor. And Mine.

And now we see a new Israel coming into Egypt. No pimp limp of pride but dragging that sore hip, the pain reminding him that only God takes away sin and exposes haughty pride.

Father of a nation, yes. Sinner, yes.

Contender, for sure.

Overcomer.

Prayer for our men

Men
Jacobs from birth
Deceivers
Wrestlers with God
They struggle with You to gain control
Why do they think they can win?

Touch the sinew, Lord
Let your power be felt
And break the hip of men
That they never lose the limp from their encounter with You.

Give our men a new name
Not a deceiver anymore
But one who contends, loses, but gains You

Israel

Inheritance

Father of a nation

A great destiny you give all men
Blessed at daybreak
Worthy as they limp away

Broken in body

Healed in heart.

Treasures

Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. — Luke 2:19

Sometimes I pull old memories from my heart, and roll them around in my head and hands, trying to pull back the sensations. Warmth of a breath on my neck, sweet smell of tufted hair, squishy-puffy bottoms of feet not yet walked on. I try to recall the sound of my babies’ cries, the bubble of their laughter.

The rocking chair sits empty in the guest room. I remember how well we fit.

Snippets of pain also come back to me: harsh words I spoke, terrible sicknesses that I worried over, dark moments of depression that filled me with a scratching, clawing desire to be free of it all. I am ashamed. I am blessed. The Lord was there.

El Roi. God who sees me. — Genesis 16:13

I praise a God who sees the pain of a mother and blesses her. I praise a God who appoints the mother of The One and reminds her to treasure each moment.

I would do it all over again. Even if I had to do it exactly the same, even if it was only to watch and feel and not change a thing. I would do it all over again. Because in the faces of my growing children, I still see the remnants of their rounded cheek infancy. I still see the burning mother-love they once held for me behind those irritated rolling eyes.

Even these days I would live again because these pre-teen years are a part of their growing up. I would relive their salvation prayers, their tears of friendship-betrayal, their screaming sibling fights….just to behold them in their growing maturity.

Thank you for the reminder, Jesus, that even these days are worth treasuring.

Today my middle one is a decade old. I treasure today and will ponder it in my heart.